JANUARY 4TH 2010 - HOLD IT RIGHT THERE LAST DECADE

The close of the 'naughties' has been the most ho-hum non-event in the history of decade endings.

It's like 2009 slipped by at midnight, half apologising for being a bit rubbish, and when it was half way out the door people started going;
'hang on, is it the end of the decade too? Are you serious? Get back in here decade - EXPLAIN YOURSELF'.
The 2000's look at the floor, and shuffles it's feet.
'WELL?' we implore.
'Dunno' spits the 2000s like a sullen teenager.
'Well what did you DO for ten years? What have you accomplished? What great art, music, movies, literature and innovations do you bring us? Well? SPEAK UP!'
'I did lots of stuff.'
"LIKE WHAT 2000s SPIT IT OUT!'
'Reality TV, bad R'nB Music, infomercials, 9/11, crappy versions of Vegemite, I did TONS of stuff! Swine flu, global economic crisis..."

Ten years ago, it was a different deal altogether. Admittedly it was wrapping up the century as well. But we had songs back then - good ones (1999, Disco 2000, End of the Century, Millennium). People thought the end of the world was really possible with the Millennium Bug, the wide spread panic of people thinking that when the clocks ticked over to 2000, all computers would stop working, planes would fall out of the sky, catastrophe and mayhem would ensue. Partly because of this silly near hysteria, people expected NYE 1999 to be the biggest blow out mega-party of all time. It wasn't. It was a bit of a fizzer. I was running POP! (at Stix in Gouger St) and I remember they had blocked out roads all over the city because they were expecting a million people in the city. They never came. It was even a bit down on a regular NYE. POP! was packed with people partying like was in actual fact 1999, and Prince had the most played song on planet earth that day I suspect.

It is possible that the Naughties have now taken over the mantel of the crappest decade in recent history? It is also possible that in 10 years time we will be sitting around yearning for the good old days of the 2000's and bemoaning how the 20TEENS's was the worst decade ever.(BTW - I did try referring to this new decade as the Teenies for a while, but stopped when I had to say the phrase 'we are leaving the naughties and entering the teenies' so I vowed never again).

People used to go on and endlessly on about how the 1980's were rubbish, the music, the movies and the fashions were missing the explosive youth culture exuberance of the the sixties with all it's Beatles and Hippies and drug culture and political activism. The 1970's were full of punk, disco, glam, rock and Mohawks, flairs, platform boots, tinsel and make-up. For much of the 1990's and the 2000's people also sneered at the 'decade that taste forgot' the much maligned 1980's. But in the latter years of the decade we just put to bed, suddenly all the young hipsters were wearing 'BIG WORD' t-shirts and flouro prints and wearing white framed, over-sized sunglasses. The only thing missing was those goddamn awful Hyper-Colour T-Shirts. So nostalgia is not what it used to be. Of course if you were 18 years old in 2008, maybe t-shirts with flouro designs on them might seem a bit 'rad', but if you had been through all that the first time flouro is, ironically, very dull indeed. That's what happens though. When you are a young pup, you are constantly looking for ways to define yourself, to mark out your territory in the world. You are looking to say loud and proud THIS IS ME WORLD - PAY ATTENTION TO ME. Of course what generally happens is that kids define themselves by desperately trying to fit into a group they think is 'cool'. If the group also annoys/upsets/outrages their parents all the better. It might be a clique at school or you might pick a band you like and decide to dress, act and talk like them. Even this great tradition has been horribly corroded these days, because most bands look and personae is constructed by the record co's fashionistas wardrobe department and not by the artist's unique expression of who they are and what they have to say.

Were the 2000s the worst decade ever. Not even close. Compared to a decade that included The Black Death, the depression, World War, the Spanish Inquisition, conscription, an ice age or any decade during a 100 years war, the 2000s were not that bad. At worst the 2000's were a bit bland. Like anytime, there was good stuff if you looked for it, but that is a blog for another day.

Retrospect is 20/20. But I do wonder if we will be looking back with fond nostalgia at the Crazy Frog and bloody nickleback